In what Norwegian officials are calling “an unfortunate accident,” Royal Norwegian Air Force officer Sigvid Sigewinesson fired on the air traffic control tower at the Orland Main Air Station, wounding three officers inside the tower.
Our confidential source in Oslo discovered alarming details with far-reaching implications; contrary to official reports, Sigewinesson unleashed 500 rounds from his F-16s 20mm cannon in a fit of anger, not an accidental weapon discharge. The shells riddled the control 
tower; its three occupants survived with only superficial wounds. According to our source, Sigewinesson became enraged after a control tower officer, Bragi Skallagrimsson, made disparaging remarks about his fiance, calling her a “woman of questionable birth” and “a possible Muslim sympathizer.” Sigewinesson then executed a “Split-S” maneuver and brought his weapons to bear on the control tower, rippling off bursts of 2omm cannon fire against the structure. The F-16 can be armed with a variety of air-to-air and air-to-ground ordinance, including its M61A1 “Vulcan” cannon, capable of unleashing a 6000 rpm maelstrom of death.
On safely landing the jet, Sigewinesson was taken into custody and escorted under armed guard to the air station’s psychiatric ward for evaluation. An air base official, speaking under conditions of anonymity, told someonesbones that Sigewinesson had lapsed into trauma induced psychosis. When asked if he regretted his actions, Sigewinesson said, “I’ll do it again and again. I’ll do it five times over.”